Sunday, April 3, 2005

the dream state/technology got ya' down?

Because other people have been talking about their actual dreams and because I am waiting for heaters to warm up my humble abode this morning, I thought I'd write about dreams, too.  (It's a little chilly for me so I will wait to get out of bed.  There's a quartz heater cranking in the bathroom so I can practice the ritual ablution.)

When I was a child, I had a recurring dream that I had a playhouse in my parents backyard and though it was on stilts, wolves were jumping up to it and trying to get me through the windows.

I don't know how I finally got rid of the dream.  Maybe I told myself that it was absurd when I got mature enough.

I also had the dream of flying... or trying to, anyway.  I think this is a very common dream, maybe even something ancestral.  Or it could be that we are lifted above everything as babies and that the memory of it lingers.

In my flying dream, I don't have wings.  Rather I do the Superman kind of flying... although I think I may have had wings at various times.

The thing about my flying dreams is that for the longest time they were frustrated.  I could hover but when I tried to lift myself over the trees, electric wires stung my shoulders and I sank back to the ground.

Years went by with this recurring dream.  Then one day I told myself that I had to take control of this dream.  I believe that taking control in your dreams is something you can learn to do.  You're there, you have the power to step in.  You are in control of what happens.  Alter the plot.  Have the heroine run outside to safety instead of up the freakin' stairs! (Gawd!  I hate that!  It means that the plot is so weak that the only way to continue is to trap the characaters further.  Lame, lame, lame!)

I looked up at the sky and noticed the actual electric wires.  I noticed that there were areas between these wires where the sky was clear and free.

The next time I dreamt of lifting off, I stood in this area and lifted straight up.  I made it over the trees  and lookd around... and then the flying didn't matter anymore.

The dream hasn't come back... although I would dearly love to take a leisure flight in a helicopter and fly over where I live, maybe over the entire state, with someone who knows it well.

And these days I stay up so late and sleep so hard that I don't remember what I dream about. I probably do dream, but my head is too full of sleep to notice.

A friend did share a dream with me and it was pretty interesting.  She actually sent her dream log because she didn't know how to isolate one entry.  I did honor her request not to look at her other entries.  Of course I was curious, but being violated is a terrible thing.  I was damned if I was going to do it to her, and the fact that she trusted me was so impressive that I felt it necesssary to be worthy of it.

I am so incredibly tired today.  I need to sleep more, eat more, compute less, work less.  I don't know if I have the energy to go to Lake Worth but I do want to go!

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