"She must love him"

Those were words spoken to me by a friend when I explained my parental units to a friend.

I went to my father's house last night to visit.  As usual, he complained about everyone in the step-family.  And my step-mother complained about him and about her children, too.

His was an expression of unhappiness.  Her's was a rampage of depressive misery.

She fusses at her son and he fusses about the way her son treats her, which only makes her more upset.

Her son yells at her and tells her he never gets to do anything.  She struggles to make him do homework.

She storms on about how her children use things without regard... but I can't tell her, "Look, you are the one who always gave them everything they desired and let them do almost anything they wanted to.  You can't expect them to give any regard to your personal property since they've never known any real consequences for disrespect."

I can't help my Dad, except to provide a place for him to come to when he runs away.  He doesn't listen to me anyway.

My step-sis is going to college.  She is a smart, hard-working girl who will be successful.

My step-brother is an over-indulged fop who just wants to fish all day every day.  He has a jeep and a nice fishing boat.

My step-brother keeps saying he's out of that house when he's 18.  Even though he has a steady income from a portfolio and social security from his father's death, he has no idea what he's up against when he tries to move out.  Rent here is absolutely ridiculous and even if he lives with friends, it will be hard for him.

That's okay though. Maybe a little responsibility and difficulty will be good for him.  

I do know that he will still be reliant on my step-mom even then, and that she will give him whatever he wants.  She isn't strong enough to say no.  She might want to, but she can't.

I find it hard to go there.  It's only 10 or 12 miles from here, but I opt to stay away.  It's lucky for me that they all like my visits.  My step-sister asks me along on errands when she's home and my step-brother tells me what he's been up to and talks about fish he's been catching.

My father, always fully dressed and looking ready to cover a news story, sits in his office at his computer and manipulates his photo collection.  He listens to mother and son argue and cuss while he offers commentary as if his opinion might change anything.

So that's my family, the people I bring new girlfriends over to meet. 

They aren't all bad.  My parents are kind, hospitable people who love visitors.  My step-mom puts on the dog for company and she really knows how to.  Both parents are intelligent people who can discuss anything easily.

I came out to my Dad at the age of 19.  My step-mother found out when one of my exes got drunk and called their house at 1 a.m. on New Year's Night looking for me for a booty call.  Might not have been so bad if she hadn't called back....

Her response was "Any way you can find love in this world is okay."

(Knowing the kind of life she has had, a Sapphic foray is not something she probably missed out on.  She was kicked out of some of America's best boarding schools. Poor little rich girl.)

So Step-mom and Dad are happily miserable.  Dad keeps saying he can't take it much longer.  He has been saying that for six years.

Mmm. We'll see.

 

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