a male muse?

So I finally get to re-wax the top of my car and I'm wiping it clean and thinking how odd it is that Josh is like a male muse.

He asked me why I don't use live journal for blogging instead of AOL.  Maybe because my ego isn't that big?  Maybe because AOL just presented itself easily.  I got a livejournal account so that I could respond to Josh's journal.  I am trying to envision what it might be like to be a double-blogger.  I could start it and not tell anyone else... except maybe Josh... and that way I could slit my proverbial wrists and just say exactly everything on my mind. No censoring, just no last names. It's appealing.  I think about journaling throughout the day anyway.  I could go back and unedit some of the things I said.  I wonder just how down and dirty I could get!?

I think I would have to get a second account.  God knows who might be following me through the grapevine of Josh's friends. There's no way to know for sure if the library didn't discriminate aginst me because I am gay. The main reason, however, seems to be the poor vision of the little colonel. The truth is though, that the person they hired for the job I applied for is very smart and has a degree in English from Boston University.  Working at the library is sort of a step down for her.  The pay isn't that great.  Three of five women who work at my branch, however, are former school teachers....

I'm going to give the double-blogging idea some more thought.

The thing about this blogging is that I write things I might never say if not asked.  Even though you are hearing what lurks inside of me, you are not meeting me as a whole person.  I talk depressed and neurotic, but in life I am actually sort of happy-go-lucky (outside of work) and generally balanced, some would say more so than most.

I have been called passive-aggressive.  Honey, that's just another way of saying "raised Southern."