Last night, the woman who wants to have sex together asked me why I wasn't giving in to her. I have been thinking about it all day. She is quite appealling. There's nothing physical to stop me from letting her have her way. But there are things that concern me aside from the common-sensical things, like the insidiousness of things like Herpes.
I realized moments ago that I am old-fashioned and sex to me is a gift, not a sport. I don't think people who sleep together without reason are wrong or bad. I just think it's not for me.
I do wish I could think differently. It would quadruple the number of lovers I have known in a short time. I just can't. I'm a package deal. All of my attention comes with everything else about me. Neurosis, perfectionism, slovenliness, obsessive tendencies, absurd humor and a slight hint of impressive intelligence....
And write to C. She'll tell you what's good about me... along with words like "cheap date" and "underestimates herself."
I'm sorry, I just can't do superficial sex... just once.
There are no hit-and-run skidmarks on my sheets.
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1 comment:
not even if I said please?
and for the record - C is so right you entirely underestimate yourself.
And I hpe you believe me when I say that I know full well what I screwed up. I am going to live with being manipulated away from finding out just how much there could have been .
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