profile search

I am having an interesting time last at night.  Women searching profiles IM me, tell me I am interesting by comparison to other profiles, not shallow.  While I find this complementary, I was to offer this caveat (warning):  I am not what you want me to be and I will not be someone I'm not.  Life is too short for that, to waste time in fakery.

I am still bothered by a convo with a woman who was taken aback by my Internet relationship with a married woman.  She spent a long time trying to convince me that it was a bad thing.  She jumped and judged.  And then I wasted time trying to talk with her about it, to explain my view of the situation.

I own great respect and affection for the woman in question.  I think she and I both know that nothing may ever come of the relationship and I am not trying to steal her away from her sizable family.

I tried to show the midnight chatter that I was in it with open eyes.  I think she wanted me to change my mind and hear me say, "Gee, I see how that could be wrong."

I told her that the situation had many facets and that no one answer was the right one.  I also told the chatter that the woman needs an outlet for her frustrations.  People who are different and forced to hide sometimes commit worser sins than mental adultery; like suicide, for example.

I don't know my friend to be suicidal at all.  She has far too much to live for.           (I just felt compelled to throw in that disclaimer.)

So the chatter finally gave up and typed "Shit" and then "Goodbye."

Okay.  I reiterate... better to find out sooner than later!

 

Postscript: I am listening to the music I mentioned because V quoted it in a letter once as she explained her feelings in my absence.  I just wanted to hear it.  I wonder if her sons led her to discover the song.  I miss her kids.  They are fun, handsome boys.

I am convinced that I am over her, but I can't stop loving her.  I just don't do that.  It's not my way.