Last night I IMed T to tell her about M. And T said to me something I never expected. Other people have told me, "You are kind to a fault." T told me that I give myself away and have nothing left for myself. T has issues with co-dependence and having explored them at length in therapy, she would know.
It's funny, but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I mean whatever it is that I do means that I am often hurt. But I'm okay with that. Life is to be lived and what good are we if we can't help each other out? They are telling me to protect myself. To hold back.
Maybe my friends are telling me that I tend to sublimate my own needs and desires. Yes, I guess that is true. It's also true that I am still learning. The way I am is subject to change. I recently learned to speak my true mind. Maybe now I will use my voice to change the world into something I devised. But probably not. Ya' see... I'm happy.
It reminds me of the parable of the non-conforming sparrow. Do you know this story?
Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to follow the flock south for the winter but to wait.
When the sparrow finally did elect to leave, it was snowing. The birds wings soon froze and it careened to the ground, landing in a soft pasture. The bird despaired, "Surely, this is my end!"
It was just then that a passing cow pooped on the bird. Ironically, the hot fresh manure warmed the bird, restoring his hope, and he began to sing.
A cat, hearing the bird, dug the bird out and ate him.
The morals of this story:
1. Those who get you into shit are not necessarily your enemies.
2. Those who get you out of shit are not necessarily your friends.
3. If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.
I just thought I'd share that little treasure.
No comments:
Post a Comment