lapses in journal

journal entry created Friday 8/5

 

Sometimes there isn't time.  Sometimes I'm bursting but too distracted.  Sometimes I am drained.  Sometimes what I want to say conflicts with what I feel are responsibilities to the people concerned/involved.  There's always a reason why I'm not writing, because I'd give you something everyday if I had my "druthers."

Lately though, I''m not writing because I am waiting for a phone call.  Almost every night, somebody new's voice is the last thing I hear before I sleep.  She talks to me for hours.  Sometimes she even sings.  I jones for her voice in my ear.  I don't know if she knows what she does to me inside, but she must have an inkling because last night she teased me about being in love.

Am I?

All I know is the day after I met her, instead of waking up giddy and full of lust as would be usual, I was upset, even scared.

She's special, this Em'...  we seem like long-time friends.  She says exactly what's on her mind and challenges me to talk much more than is usual.  My concern was what would happen now, what would happen to screw it up, what I would do wrong.  I was afraid that she would bail, too.

I'm trying to stay cool this time.  She reminded me that she is not someone who has hurt me.  She keeps calling me of her own volition.  I guess that's a good sign.

We'll take it slow.  What choice is there?  I will only be able to see her one or two days a month.  For me, that's agony... but there's the phone... and the glories of her long-distance plan.

Did I ever tell you that I believe that prayers get answered?

Sometimes you don't recognize it, sometimes you do.  And sometimes the answer is "No."

What is this new thing happening with Em' and I?  I don't know yet.  Thank God for horror movies and thrill rides, though... and all the things that teach us to enjoy fear and suspense!

 

 

 

 

A man asked God, "Lord, what's a million years to you?"

God replied, "A minute."

The man asked, "Lord, what's a million dollars to you?"

God replied, "A penny."

The man said "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "In a minute."