another comment too big....

My response to: judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1586

Everything.  I want to say everything.  I wrote all my life, encouraged by teachers.  But it was when I had a muse, one person who listened to and loved what I wrote that what I wrote took on a life.  Soon others followed in the footsteps of her admiration.  It was never enough to write for myself; I had to be talking to someone.

When I recognized the opportunity to see my thoughts instantly published on line, I had no idea that it would become something more than just that.  I do think that it is vanity and equates to nothing, but if somewhere along the way I encourage something good, then it's good.

I didn't know that people would start talking to me.  NJLITTLEBEAR was the first person to communicate with me.  Then I think you, through him, and then almost everyone who followed, through you.

I still write for myself.  I tell things in my journal that I would never say. (Hohumlala aka "Relentlessly Blinking Cursor" will tell you it's true.)  I want an outlet for these "deep secrets" because it is my belief that we ARE all the same and that the truth is not earth-shattering to the open-minded.

It is my hope that people reading my journal will see beyond the "lesbian" and recognize my humanity as a reflection of their own... and in so doing realize that denying "us" (people who are different) freedoms is not right.

It's still legal to discriminate against me in Florida and most other states because of what I am.  I didn't choose to be homosexual but I did choose not to let being gay in an intolerant world destroy me.  It was be true or die.  It's the same with my journal.

I do censor myself to a degree.  I do not intend to offend anyone.  I respect different viewpoints.  I believe we all have to do the best that we can at any given moment... and sometimes that best is oppressive to others.  We're all just trying to cope. 

It doesn't matter if what I write travels into the future or not.  I'm not afraid of dying with a life that goes unrecognized.  I'm afraid of not putting whatever I have to offer into living while I am alive.