E!

I met E. online... I guess it was in 2002.  We chatted and she was fun, but she told me some wild stories.  I suspected that she was a liar, but wanted to find out for myself.  I figured the truth would eventually come out.  And I had not dated anyone for more than 10 years. (Note:  I was taking care of my mother and then rejoining the workforce during these years.)

We met at the mall and went to dinner in another county, after dinner we made out in the parking lot because she had exacted that price when she paid for dinner.  I had to go to my dad's to pick something up and we made out in his driveway.  I took her inside and introduced her. Then we drove to a gay bar in yet another county and when it was time to go, we made out for a long time in my car.  When she got up to go, I was weak.  It took me a while to recover and pull myself together to start my car.

I knew that things about her where phony.  I let her think she had me snowed.  I guess I was just that lonely after all that time!  But I have astute powers of observation.  She told me that she was a pastor at an Episcopal Church in Ft. Pierce.  She didn't know that I was raised Episcopal.  She also didn't know that I know the church she referred to.  And when she showed me a little card in her wallet that said she is ordained... a card you can get when you accept ordination over the Internet...  I was wise, but played on.

After that, we dated.  I took her to my small apartment and we had really great sex.  Isn't that always the way with crazy people?  But it wasn't even a month before she was crying "Why don't you love me like I love you?"  (If you ever hear this, run... this is one of the signs of a stalker-type.)

We continued to date but I just couldn't turn my heart over to her because her lies had no substance.

After a while... I forget what happened or how it transpired, I pushed her away.  On New Year's Eve, she called my father's house, where I was staying for the night, after midnight, drunk. 

She was acting like she was ill and needed me, asking me to go to my house.  She wanted a "booty call."  When I told her know, her voice sobered and I told her it was over.  But that was NOT the end.

After that, she called me at 3 and 4 a.m., playing the Indigo Girls into my ear.  I unplugged my phone from the wall in order to sleep each night.  It was ugly.  I realized that she wasn't going to physically hurt me.

What was I thinking when I got back together with her later on?  I guess I was thinking that in spite of her lies, she was not that bad, and that maybe ... I don't know what the hell I was thinking, really.

I had moved by then.  She came to this home and we had even better sex.  I hate that it takes a crazy person sometimes.  I think the key was that she really applied herself.  She certainly understood how my body worked.

Still, her lies continued, and when I pushed her away again, the phone calls.  Finally, via e-mail, I think it was, she got the point.

I never have been crazy about talking to people on the phone, but she is the person who made me loathe the ring of a phone.  I only talk over the phone to people I meet when I am comfortable enough with them to do so.

I have little patience with strangers who call my house.

Ironically, I met a woman at the library and we started talking outside of the library.  It turns out that she had dated E, too, when she lived somewhere else.

E is not a terrible person, she has her good points... but she is bad news.