good day so far

I wake up thinking about a woman in California who is coming to see me.  She is squirming around in my heart, sending electrical impulses out. 

Meanwhile, I am still looking around to see if there is someone out there I am compatible with.  Don't be fooled.  If you have some wit about you, some brain and some heart, I am easy to get.  I might be harder to keep because I have to mesh into your world fairly easily or I get spooked.  And contrary to what at least one person out there may be thinking, I am very tolerant of many things.  I am not tolerant of people who can't be honest to their friends and family.  I am too old and tired of absurdities of life to put up with game-playing.

The dangers are that I get attached.  I don't seek to claim ownership but I do hope for loyalty, for faith, both to and from. Let me fall in love with you then push me away and I will try not to be a big-ass baby, but it might happen anyway.  I am not a stalker, though.

I have some ambition today.  The sky is clear, it's sunny, but its cool.  I am wrapped in my blanket and not willing to leave it's warmth. (see journal entry "Heat Monkey")

I am anxious to meet my California girl though I am not planning anything yet.  There are no moves or immediate co-habitation plans in my immediate future.  I'm free. I'm just going to meet her and, yes, probably share some moments of privacy with her.  It won't happen for a while yet though.

This morning I opened mail from one of my oldest and most dear friends.  She asked me about my memories of school and of her.  I've written her what I could think of.  More may come back later.  She is a mother now and is looking for memories to share with her son.

I have chatted with another good buddy this morning.  I like people who are confident enough in our friendship to tease me.  I appreciate their faith in my loyalty, too -- especially when I don't give them as much time as I usually do.  I do try.  Can you really ask for more?  I know they love me.  Nothing else really matters.

Between this paragraph and the previous one, I slept.  I don't know for how long.  It could have been an hour or just a few minutes but it was a call I needed to answer.

I hate to say it but I have to pay my rent, mow my lawn, retrieve supplies and today is a good day to get these things done.  What's magical is that I'm in the mood to get them done.  I think being stranded inside Sunday was the catalyst.

Things seem to have fallen through with the bi-curious woman and I am okay with that.  I am sorry that I could not oblige her, but she will find someone to help her out. I'm sure of that.  I hope that she finds the right someone.

So here I am, free.  Looking to see all the pretty fish in the bowl.  Here fishy, fishy.

There is a woman in Port St. Lucie I am interested in, but she is playing it lukewarm.  Maybe I read her wrong, or maybe that's just how she is.  Maybe she already knows I am not the love of her life and is just being kind. People can be jaded and you just have to figure that out for yourself.  I wouldn't ask if I wasn't interested.  I don't have that kind of time.

This weekend is PrideFest in the city of Lake Worth and I have been telling people about it because I hope to go.  I would like to actually meet people there instead of wandering alone.  Last year, I had V and saw L, and T and her M there.  This year, it might be stag if I can't drag L along.  Then again, I might pass ... but it is too good to pass.  Imagine walking down a city street being able to hold the hand of someone you love?  Ok... straight people have this privilege and bold gay people claim it.  The difference is being in a place where it is not a surprise or a shock and you are safe doing it.

Last year as good because V and I were new and she was full of glee.  But she was all over the place and I didn't get to introduce her to friends I saw. 

She had a strong reaction to a handicapped drag queen who performed.  He was a skinny, physically twisted fellow, but full of heart.  She thought it was a bizarre joke. 

I've digressed.  Where was I?  Oh yeah...  It's all casual.  You don't have to parade and you don't have to be gay.  Come with me this weekend?

What more can I say.  I need to get up and get on with this day.