another comment too big....

My response to: judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1586

Everything.  I want to say everything.  I wrote all my life, encouraged by teachers.  But it was when I had a muse, one person who listened to and loved what I wrote that what I wrote took on a life.  Soon others followed in the footsteps of her admiration.  It was never enough to write for myself; I had to be talking to someone.

When I recognized the opportunity to see my thoughts instantly published on line, I had no idea that it would become something more than just that.  I do think that it is vanity and equates to nothing, but if somewhere along the way I encourage something good, then it's good.

I didn't know that people would start talking to me.  NJLITTLEBEAR was the first person to communicate with me.  Then I think you, through him, and then almost everyone who followed, through you.

I still write for myself.  I tell things in my journal that I would never say. (Hohumlala aka "Relentlessly Blinking Cursor" will tell you it's true.)  I want an outlet for these "deep secrets" because it is my belief that we ARE all the same and that the truth is not earth-shattering to the open-minded.

It is my hope that people reading my journal will see beyond the "lesbian" and recognize my humanity as a reflection of their own... and in so doing realize that denying "us" (people who are different) freedoms is not right.

It's still legal to discriminate against me in Florida and most other states because of what I am.  I didn't choose to be homosexual but I did choose not to let being gay in an intolerant world destroy me.  It was be true or die.  It's the same with my journal.

I do censor myself to a degree.  I do not intend to offend anyone.  I respect different viewpoints.  I believe we all have to do the best that we can at any given moment... and sometimes that best is oppressive to others.  We're all just trying to cope. 

It doesn't matter if what I write travels into the future or not.  I'm not afraid of dying with a life that goes unrecognized.  I'm afraid of not putting whatever I have to offer into living while I am alive.

I'm not all bad, though.

Sometimes I wish I could encourage my Reversi opponents, and let them know they still have a chance, let them in on a strategic move they could make.

It would be nice to be matched up with players in the same "league."  Some players seem to have plenty of leisure time in making decisions.  Some players aren't emotionally mature enough to stay and finish the game.

Hmmm, maybe I do need to shift to Intermediate.  But it's not about the competition for me.  It's about the recreational value.

 

 

Why I can never quit the animal hospital

 

With a future like this, I have to feed them somehow!

Back to the reversi porch

... because I'm just not running with the big dogs today.

Now and then, I get delusions that I'm ready to take on better reversi players.  I bumped myself up to intermediate this morning and it wasn't pretty.  I know that if I play better players I am likely to get better.  But the truth is that I don't know that I can stand the ego-crushing. 

And this early in the morning, the intermediate and advanced players aren't generally Americans.  I was crushed by a Russian this a.m. who must be some kind of genius.

The thing about games like reversi and Chess, you have to be able to think ahead about what you'll do. several moves ahead.  Aside from that, you have to know a few things about the effect of where you place your disks.

There are a few key things that I know, but I apparently do not know enough and maybe it is time that I spent some time getting whipped so I can advance.

The thing is that I like to feel victorious in the morning.  It helps my day go better. 

So maybe my strategy should be ego warm-ups in the morning, and be taught some hard lessons in the evening.

It might send me to sleep grumpy, but that's okay.  I'll fight the good fight in the morning and hopefully feel right as rain again before I have to face people.

There's plenty of people as good or better than me playing in the beginners still.  My object is fun... however, my other object is to keep my mind perking along.

I guess I owe it to my aging cells to give then something more to work on.

Have you tried Reversi (aka Othello?)

 

 

5827

another round from the reversi board

The choices of what you can say to your opponent aren't too varied.  There's Hello; Thank You; Nice Move; Good Luck; Good Game; Didn't see that coming; Ouch!; Oops!; :) ; :( ; It was luck; You're Welcome; Nice Comeback; It's your turn; Be right back...; Okay, I'm back; It's Your Turn; Are you still there?; Nice try; You're Welcome;  Sorry, I have to go now.... You get the idea.  International diplomacy.

It'd be more fun if it could be a little more interactive, a little more hip-hop, a little more sardonic.

I'd like to trade barbs.  I'd like to know who I'm playing.  Since January, I've written about this game. Like most any game, we learn from it.  I am getting better at it yet... but my opponents remain the unknown.

Who are they?  They are people in the US and other countries all over the world.  Wherever Microsoft products are sold, I suppose.

Are they mostly male?  I don't rightly know.  Some of them are very chatty.  Maybe they are attempting distraction or maybe they are just lonely.  Others shut off their chat capabilities for whatever reason.

I'd like the chance to communicate, to question.

I'd ask their age and gender.  I'd want to know what time it is in their country and what their doing online at that particular hour.  I'd ask them how long they've been playing the game.

I'd also like to snippy and brash.  I'd like to offer sass. I might even enjoy being a little crude.

Maybe something like that would change perceptions or maybe it would just fan flames.

At the very least, they could add a few more phrases to choose from.

No, let's face it... I'm a would-be Yenta.  I'm too curious.  I want details.  I want to get into that Turk's head.  I want to know what's up with the Serbian.  I wanna know what the Thai is having for dinner.  I want to query the Swede on what life is in a neutral country.

Bill Gates could make it happen. 

Oh, Mr. Gates....

 

5808

(sigh)

I'd love to have something to write, but I'm just empty tonight.  Drained.  Devoid of...

Hey... I just got an idea!

Note to self:  Go into civilization soon and purchase an acid-free journal.

<(twitch)>

 

{Evil laughter.} Muuahhhahahaha!

Canine Influenza

If you haven't been listening to the news lately and you have a canine companion, listen up.  A strain of flu is going around.  It somehow made it's way from horses to dogs.  The virus seems to be quite contagious and also potentially deadly.  They say that 10 percent of dogs that contract it die.

The virus can apparently be passed quite easily through casual dog contact or may even be passed from animal to animal by humans who carry it home.

The symptoms include coughing (the virus mimics "kennel cough"), gagging, lethargy, loss of appetite and a runny nose. 

If your pet displays any of the above signs, get to the vet ASAP.