I will be 40 in November, and you know what? My life has never been more interesting! And I owe some of that to this computer, but mostly I owe it to the people in my life.
I have been told by several different people in the past weeks that I am charming (in a quirky way) and that I underestimate my charm. One woman I chat with frequently told me I am sexy and yet another with whom I correspond said that I am beautiful. Wow. A girl entering her fifth decade needs to hear these things!
I have family that misses me (I've been in a stay-home mode for the past few months.), friends that enjoy me, women that are interested in me, a job that I enjoy usually and a cat who finds me more or less adequate.
Is that the sound of my head inflating? Yeah.
Why don't more people blog?
I have always wanted to be a fly on the wall everywhere, to watch people and understand them... not only out of curiousity but to help me figure out human nature in order to inform my writing. As it is, I cannot predict behavior. I can only report the world as I see it.
I know that some people don't write because they are lazy or because writing can be laborious and even painful, but they should write! More than an outlet it is ... (searching for word or phrase that fits)... ... something that welds us together and lifts us....
Bananas! I have to get ready for work! Later!
I'm back. Hours have elapsed between this sentence and the one above it. Here's more on that thought:
You have to die, you might as well write. This journal is cast in pixels. At some point in the future, it will disappear. That is the transient nature of art and the transient nature of life. Nothing lasts forever in an unchangeable form, except maybe styrofoam.
See?
So what's the risk? They love you. They hate you. They ignore you. They smother you. Hey, they have to die too. It just doesn't matter. Cast your bread upon the waters... we're all hungry to find our connection. And as it turns out, your most freakish thought, your deepest secret, has an ally somewhere.
For my next trick, my next journal entry will be blank. It's for you. Click where it says "Add your own."
3 comments:
I will be 40 in September and I'm about to slit my wrists ! Us fags don't grow old gracefully....I'm hoping I'll feel better about it when it gets here but I dunno....it aint lookin to good so far.
NJLB
http://journals.aol.com/njlittlebear/MyBigFatGeekLife
wish you could be on my end reading your words - the confidence and I don't know if this is the right word but the selfassuredness(sp?) that they emit is amazing
Why don't I write (guess I can't answer for everyone, so I'll answer for me) I used to write on paper, non-stop, everything. It was great therapy,and wonderful way to sort out thoughts and problems, but really not meant for anyone else's eyes. Then someone I trusted, found it, read it, commented on it (wrote comments on the pages). It felt like being violated! I guess if I posted here I would edit to only those things I didnt mind sharing, but... maybe I'm too selfish, or too insecure, I don't really want to share most of what's in my head! it's pretty messy in here! I think I feel I'd be "found out" if I posted for the world what rambled through my brain on a regular basis.
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